Wednesday, 17 December 2014

The Witch's Bones

Many of you will have noticed that I have not been posting, tweeting, and generally imparting wisdom very much this year.

I am afraid that this is entirely down to the tardiness of my Social Media Manager. He has the simple job of chronicling my various adventures and posting my missives, but has, instead, insisted on footling away his spare time writing some tedious fictional story of his own.

‘I have had this idea in my head for years now, could I just have some time off to write it all down?’ he pleaded.

What’s it called?’ I asked.

‘The Witch’s Bones,’ he began.

‘Stop right there!’ I demanded ‘I can tell it’s going to be utter nonsense. Magic and tosh like that, is it?’

‘Well, sort of…’

‘Do you honestly think that people would be interested in that, rather than the very important goings on here at Homeward? Do you think that they want to hear some, totally unbelievable, fiction about a silly old woman claiming to have magical powers or the real life adventures of an extremely rich, philanthropic elephant?’

‘I suppose, when you put it like that, it is a bit far fetched to think anybody would read it, but I would really like to have a try?’ he whinged.

I have agreed to let him have a sabbatical, providing he promises to post updates on the most important events here at Homeward.

You can read the nonsense he has been writing here:

But, I warn you, its pretty far-fetched stuff!

Meanwhile, I’m off to open the Christmas Fair at Monkey-and –Engine-Room-Wood, and to see the Panto that the Crookball people are putting on at Lonely Tower. I’ll have to drive past Badfort in my traction engine, so I’ll be on my guard against that duck bomb throwing Beaver Hateman!