Wednesday, 12 May 2010


As you know, the Badgertown Town Council Election resulted in a hung Council.

It appears that the various parties have reached an agreement.

The new Mayor is to be Dave "the biscuit" Macaroon. The new Mayoress will be Nick 'Cream' Custard. This means that he will have to wear a dress, and he is not happy about this - but has agreed to do it for the sake of stable government.

From my point of view, the good news is that Alonzo S. Whitebeard is to be the new Finance Minister.

I am sure that the old miser, whose policy can be summed up as "look after the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves", will soon have Badgertown's debt under control.

Hopefully, the King of the Badgers will soon start repaying my loans!

Monday, 10 May 2010

Strange Days

These are strange days, indeed.

The hung Council in Badgertown, following the results of the Council elections has led too much arguing between the mayoral candidates over who is in charge.

Meanwhile, some of the populace are now arguing that attempts should be made to ditch all the present candidates and offer the job to some of the now unemployed members of the British Parliament.

The dwarfs are very keen to recruit Julia Goldsworthy - being mostly gold miners I think that they may just find her name attractive, but by all accounts she was a very good MP for Camborne and Redruth.

They have been protesting on the streets, but met strong opposition from a counter demonstration by members of the Badfort Crowd - who are keen to offer the job to my old friend Gordon Brown.

Friday, 7 May 2010

Hung out to dry

The King of the Badgers has rung me, in a bit of a tizz over the Badgertown Town Council election results.

"None of the silly blighters has a majority!" he blustered.

"Surely, constitutionally, the incumbent Mayor is supposed to sort it out?", I tried to calm him.

"That old fool Noddy Ninety went off on one of his train jaunts again!" spluttered the King.

"Well, far be it from me to interfere in the democratic processes of Badgertown - but my advice is to invite Alonzo S. Whitebeard to form a government. After all, his policy slogan was "Make Do and Made" - and I think that is what you'll have to do!" I advised.

Tuesday, 4 May 2010

Make Do and Mend

It seems that Alonzo S. Whitebeard's manifesto for The Badgertown Council Election has struck a chord with the populace.

It would be wrong of me, as the richest elephant in the world and an international celebrity, to try and influence your vote.

However, let us consider the options. Gordon 'Fudge' Brownie has inadvertently let slip in a microphone incident that he thinks badgers are 'a bit smelly'. Whilst we all like to see the human side of our politicians, this remark makes him untenable as the Mayor of Badgertown.

Dave "the biscuit" Macaroon is very charming, however, one cannot in all conciousness vote for a robot. His mechanical nature was revealed yesterday, when his personality chip fell out and he started repetitively intoning "Change...Change...Change..."
He then started fizzing and his skin, which had always looked a bit smooth and plastic, started to melt.

Nick 'Cream' Custard had seemed like a good bet. However, his policy of letting the dwarfs stay in Badgertown, once they have finished digging burrows for the badgers, has not met favour with the voters.

Now, I do find Alonzo's miserliness a tad annoying. I find his jealousy of my vast wealth and his constant scrimping and moaning burdensome. However, his ideas on fiscal policy are clearly what is needed in Badgertown to kerb the Badger King's constant borrowing - from me!

So, without intending to influence your vote, I say Make Do and Mend!