Saturday 17 September 2022

Last night I dreamt I went to Homopoly

Lat night I dreamt I went to Homopoly. It was most peculiar. It began by me being interviewed by Mister Wossy. In the dream, he was a fanatical collector of board games. He kept on going on about a very rare edition of Monopoly he had that was set during the blitz. It sounded a very difficult version of the game, given that you could put a hotel up on Park Lane and the next minute have it blown up! He asked me if we played Monopoly here at Homeward. Of course, we have our own version - Homopoly. The Great Hall is the equivalent of your Mayfair and then there are the various towers that all have their places on the board. Watercress tower is worth quite a lot, but Haunted Tower has little value. Badfort is, not surprisingly, of a similar value to the Old Kent Road. The dream then got even stranger as we all became part of the game. I was staying at Sunset Beach in a holiday home owned by Mister Wossy and his wife, the Ferret Princess. It was infested with extremely long mice and their youngest child insisted on letting them loose in the skirting boards. The electricity kept blowing up as they gnawed through the wires. I was there to present a programme on seaside resorts with a Mister Walliams, the famed cross-channel swimmer. As you know I am very fond of seaside holidays. He was presenting his part of the programme from, of course, Dover - in England. We did a live link-up, and as a jest about the quality of the weather at seaside resorts the director had arranged for large storm clouds to appear in the sky at both Dover and Sunset Beach. It poured with rain. Dear reader - what can it all mean? Do the storm clouds infer that trouble is brewing with the Badfort Crowd?

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