Saturday 17 September 2022

Barack comes to Homeward!

My good friend Barack came to visit on Wednesday - his first foreign trip as president! Although, I must ask you not to mention this to anyone. I have been sworn to secrecy. The Canadians, apparently, would be very upset - because they thought he was visiting them first. As predicted, the Badfort Crowd attempted to disrupt proceedings - protesting with banners and the like. Luckily, my detective, A.B. Fox had a plan. He hired a gang of the giants from Lanky Tower to stand in front of them. A few hearty choruses of 'Hail to Glorious Uncle!" drowned out their shouts. We had a slap up banquet in Barack's honour - a hundred casks of herrings, a thousand kegs of Turkish Delight and three hundred first grade cheeses! However, that evening, after Barack had departed for Canada (he said that it would be a tedious experience compared to the joys of Homeward), we were appalled to hear the following disgraceful interview being conducted on Badfort Radio. HITMOUSE:(thin and squeaky)You were present at the vast gathering outside the Castle of Homeward today, to welcome the American president, Mr Hateman. HATEMAN (loud and raucous) I watched what went on, you might say. HITMOUSE: And what did you think of it, Mr Hateman? HATEMAN: Hundreds Honour Humbug! That's what I thought! Typically of the Fat Dictator - all dissent was suppressed! HITMOUSE: Strong words, Mr Hateman. What is your opinion on the new president? HATEMAN: (shouting) Radio would bust if I said what I thought - He is clearly just another lacky of the lard bucket who rules over us! With his begging bowl out to Bully Bounty! "Turn it off!" I said "I have heard enough of the cynical motives they impugn upon my good friend Barack!"

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