Saturday 17 September 2022

The "Oh my Gawd!" Particle

Well, Thank Goodness we are all still here! The day has not passed without incident, however. Just as I feared, when Cowgill switched on my Big Bang Machine it did create mini black holes. He was right in guessing that they would dissipate immediately, though not in time to prevent the escape of a number of Large Hadrons. As you can imagine, they were absolutely furious at being made to collide together. They vent their fury by giving chase to the dwarf operatives of the machine. Eventually Cowgill and Gubbins, with the aid of some large nets, were able to round them all up and push them back through the Black Holes. This required precision timing as we only had a fraction of a second before they dissipated again. They were not happy at being squeezed into them, either, and let out a lot of squeals. The day has not entirely been unsuccessful. We have discovered the elusive Higgs Boson. Although only there for a trillionth of a second we managed to photograph it, cowering in a corner and clutching a large number of coloured strings. It let out a squeak and immediately disappeared. I had the bright idea of slowing down the squeak a trillion times and this is what we heard it say. "Oh my Gawd!!! - How did you find me? You are not having my string! - it's all mine! I'm off to another dimension - so there! You won't catch me again!" Cowgill became greatly excited by the string - claiming it was an enormous discovery that would set the world of particle physics afire! Apparently he believes that it may be proof of something called String theory. He explained that String theory strongly suggests that spacetime has eleven dimensions. Of course, I already know this to be the case - but, as before, I felt it best not to mention this. I think that our one universe is complicated enough to keep order in.

1 comment:

  1. Those Large Hadrons do look rather surly, I must say. Well captured.

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