Saturday 17 September 2022

The Power of Lynx

A day of Public Rejoicing! Beaver and his band of miscreants have once more been foiled. Waldovenison Smeare is free and his painting of my goodself has pride of place over the fireplace in the Grand Hall of Homeward. Cloutman and Gubbins were able to effect a rescue by the inspired use of one of Mr Gleamhound's magic potions. Old Whitebeard had bought himself some of Gleamhound's Lynx Juice. 'The Old Man' has an arrangement with an young Lynx called Mod who is happy to roll around in a special cloth so that his sweat can be collected for the Lynx Juice. 'The Old Man' pays him a half a crown each time. "Spray it all over and you will be the centre of attention" it says on the label. Old Whitebeard had been hoping to attract some young heiress but, as we know, all Gleamhound's potions work the opposite way. Cloutman and Gubbins could therefore pass completely unnoticed in and out of Badfort with Waldo. If you would like the "Lynx Effect" you should be able to purchase it in most Chemists as 'The Old Man' is heavily marketing it. By the way, some of you may be aware, the first volume of the unauthorised biography of me by J.P.Martin is being republished. I have not read it myself but feel I must warn you that it has been reported to me that, apparently, there are elements within it that do not always cast me in the best light. The Old Monkey informs me that I am portrayed as somewhat pompous. I know that probably shocks you as much as it does me. Clearly, J.P.Martin was hoping for a serialisation in one of the scandal papers. The Old Monkey does say that, apart from these somewhat dubious parts, it is an accurate portrayal of my constant battle with those ingrates from Badfort. 

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